


A Darkness Shared

by Charaiosity (Kundiman)



Series: Degrees of Separation [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Drinking & Talking, Friendship through shared misery, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Reader-Insert, Talking about your problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8855827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kundiman/pseuds/Charaiosity
Summary: In the end, you were just two lonely and broken people running away from their problems.In which the protagonist finally decides to open up.  However, Guzma is the last person they’d expected to listen.Sequel to Silence is a Measure of Distance.  Spoiler warning for Pokemon Sun and Moon.





	

Nimbasa, a city of light and life.  Even now, late into the evening, the city is bustling with people all looking for a thrill.  The Musical Theater, the Gear Station, the Big Stadium and the Small Court, the Battle Institute, the Rondez-View Ferris Wheel and amusement park, you’ll never be want for entertainment here if you have the time and the money.

Which makes it the perfect place to go to forget your sorrows.

You’re currently situated in front of your hotel window overlooking the city, a champagne flute in your hand, admiring the glowing signs and the spotlights illuminating the city like a comet, serving as the only light source for your darkened room.  For the past few days, you’ve been sampling everything the city has to offer, quickly burning through the earnings you’ve made as undefeated Champion for several years.  Kukui’s been concerned about this, and he’s been trying to call you for the past few days, but you don’t bother to bring your cellphone when you go out and about during the day.

He’s not the only one, though.  Hau and Lillie have been trying to contact you in various ways, flooding your inboxes with emails and text messages.  At one point, you even receive a letter from them.

“We’re really worried about you,” it read, in Lillie’s gentle cursive.  “You haven’t been returning our calls, and we’re afraid something bad has happened to you.  I’ve even tried calling Gladion to ask if you’ve been in contact with him, and he said-“

You crumple the letter before you finish it.  The next day, you move hotels under an unlisted room.

If you wanted to think about problems, you’d have stayed home in Alola.

You take a large swig from your glass, savoring the feeling of the clear effervescent liquid cascading down your throat.

“Careful there, sweetheart.  With the way you go through bottles of champagne, you’re going to kill your liver in a month or so.”

You turn to address Guzma, who was making himself comfortable on your hotel room bed, the blankets the only thing preserving his modesty.  He was helping himself to the bottle of expensive chardonnay you were currently partaking in, and you roll your eyes at him.

“Speak for yourself.  I’ve seen your room in Po before, and I know for a fact that you drink like a fish.”

He smirked at that.

“How d’you know that those weren’t all just for show?”

You turn back towards the window.  Behind you, you hear a ruffling of cloth, after which Guzma joins you beside the window, thankfully dressed in a robe.

The two of you sit in silence for a bit, before it reminded you too much of a certain silence on a certain night a few months ago, and you down your glass fully, sighing deeply.

Guzma looks at you, and in your alcohol-hazed state you think you saw something akin to pity in his stare.

“You’re really taking this really hard, aren’t you?”

You shoot a dirty look at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes at you.

“I’m not as stupid as you think, you know.  Hau’s noticed it too.  In fact, he was the one who told me what the fuck was probably up with you.”

“It’s none of your business.”

He shrugs.

“Sure, it ain’t mine, but it is for Hau and Lillie, who are your friends, to care about why you haven’t been returning anybody’s calls,” he says pointedly.  You scoff at him.

“I was invited for the World Tournament; I’m been kind of busy lately.  And I’m old enough to take care of myself.  I don’t need to explain myself to anybody.”

Upon you saying that, whatever patience Guzma had at the moment was exhausted.  He throws his hands up, frustrated by your dismissive attitude.

“The World Tournament is in Driftveil, and you’re all the way out here in Nimbasa!  You’re not fooling anybody with your bullshit!  You’re here because ya got your little heart broken and you’re too proud to admit to anybody that you’re hurting!”

Furious, you raise your free hand to slap him, but he catches you at the right time.  The both of you are glaring daggers at each other, silently daring the other to make a move.  You cave first and begin speaking.

“Look who’s talking.  How about you explain what you’re doing here in Nimbasa city plumb drunk at a cheap bar, a few weeks after Lusamine’s husband returns from literally nowhere?  If I hadn’t found you, you would have probably been mugged out of everything you hand and you would have been stuck here for who knows how long!”

His grip on your wrist tightens at your words, and you wince a little at the pain.  This snaps Guzma out of his rage, and he lets go, running his hands exasperatedly in his messy hair.

You turn towards the window again, willing yourself to forget again, to drown yourself in the blur and color of the city.  But try as you might, you can’t.  You glance at Guzma, seated at the edge of the bed, hands in his head, and you feel a pang of guilt for bringing up a topic painful to him.

“I’m sorry,” you say solemnly.

He looks up at you, then brings his head down again.  “It’s fine, kid.  I should be the one who’s apologizing.”

A heavy silence falls between the two of you.

You can hear the muffled noises of the city seeping into the room, filling the space in the room and in the dark corners of your minds.  It’s an oppressive solitude, and it’s one that the two of you have been living with for the past few years, letting it eat you up from the inside.

Your pride has been keeping you from opening up the doors and letting anybody in.  And frankly, you’re growing tired of the whole charade.

So, against your better judgement, you speak up.

“It’s childish of me, isn’t it?  Running away from everything like that.  It isn’t fair to my friends, to make them worry like that.”

At the corner of your eye, you see Guzma turning towards you.  You take this as a sign to continue.

“I’ve always been the patient listener, always lending an ear to my friends and generally being there for them when they need it.  I never think of bothering them with my own problems.  I mean, they have enough, right?  I don’t want to compound it even more.”

You smile ruefully.

“Thinking about it now, I guess the deeper reason why I never opened up to Hau and Lillie was because I was afraid.  I was the pillar of strength for them, and I liked it that way.  It made me feel like I belonged, that I had a part to play in our friendship.  If I told them about my fears, my doubts, what would they think of me?  I know they're my friends, but I'm afraid something I say might change the way they think of me, even subconsciously.”

“I was scared, so I never said anything.  I never told Lillie how lonely I was when she left for Kanto.  I never told Hau that I was growing tired of being the League Champion, but that I’m too proud to let go of my title.  And I never told Gladion _anything_ that night, and I haven’t seen him since.”

At this point, you noticed you were crying, and you try to discreetly wipe away your tears, inhaling deeply to try and steady your breathing.

“Sorry about having to subject you to my burdens like that.”

Guzma snorts bemusedly at that, and shakes his head, shooting a big grin your way.

“Nah, apologizing’s the last thing you should be doing.  I can tell you’ve been bottlin’ all of this up for a while, and ya boy’s here to listen.”

You laugh at that, despite yourself.

“Thanks a lot, Guzma.  I really mean it.  I can see why a bunch of former Team Skull members still look up to you a lot.”

He smiles at that, and you know it’s genuine.

“Heh, you’re too kind, kid.”

The two of you fall silent once again.  You look down, unsure whether you should broach the subject on your mind.  You decide to push your luck and try anyways.

“Hey, Guzma?”

You receive a grunt of acknowledgement in reply.

“Did you love her?”

Now it was his turn to look down.  You start voicing an apology, afraid that you might have overstepped your boundaries this time, but to your relief, he replies.

“Yeah, in a way.  I know it wasn’t healthy, but I was just addicted to the feeling of being noticed by someone like her.  Ever since I was a little brat, I’ve always been told that I’m not good enough, not strong enough.  An’ for the first time in a long fucking time, she told me that I was, and that I could help her with this big mission.  That I was somebody who could do something worthwhile.  I dunno if you would call that love, but as far as I knew at the time, it was.”

 “I mean, I know better now.  And I gotta admit, you and your stupid friends helped smack some sense into me.  Lillie worryin’ about me when I was stuck in Ultra Space, Hala and Hau taking me back in even after all the shit I’ve done and making sure I’m okay, Plums and my old grunts checking in on me every now and then, you offerin’ me a place to stay when I blacked out here in Nimbasa…”

He grins smugly at you again, but you could detect a hint of softness in it. 

“You guys are just a buncha soft serves, ain’tcha?”

You smirk at him and shrug.

“What can I say?  Misery loves company, right?”

He laughed loudly at that, but you know he means no malice.

-

In the end, you are still two lonely and broken people running away from their problems.  And there are still days when the gloom in your minds seem to choke out the smallest specks of light.

But at the very least, you weren’t alone in the darkness anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling bad lately and I couldn't sleep last night, so I thought I'd do something sort-of productive and write. I tried not to make it too much of a vent fic, and for the most part I think I succeeded.
> 
> I'm not particularly happy with this, even moreso than the previous one, but hey, at least my fics are getting longer again. And I was able to characterize the protagonist a little bit more than the last time.
> 
> Also, Guzma is harder to write than you think.


End file.
